vixenesque93: (all you need)
[personal profile] vixenesque93
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Aww...look. A writer's block topic I can actually talk about.

Sure, anyone should be able to bear children if they want to. We already tried restricting people from having children based on various "undesirable" factors (including race), but when a certain European dictator heard about the eugenic philosophies being discussed in academic circles...well, we all know what happened next.

But if you want to *raise* said children...well, we already have restrictions in place. No beating/starving/neglecting them. Feed, clothe, nurture, educate, keep them healthy and make sure they grow into adults who aren't complete and total assholes. And remember, they call it the hardest job in the world for a goddamn reason--so don't look so shocked when someone says they don't want them.

Yeah, there's some folks who don't like children at all (or the people who choose to have them). As [livejournal.com profile] lupabitch put it, that vitriol is a backlash against the social privileges afforded to parents. Until recently, there really wasn't much of a social place for people without children in this culture; that's a relatively new phenomenon. Because that pretty well sums it up. Until the advent of birth control, if you had no children it was assumed you were either 1) unmarried or 2) incapable. Voluntarily not having children has only really been an option for a couple generations, and is still uncommon enough to be regarded with suspicion (especially if you're female. Dammit.).

Supposedly, I'm supposed to be having a biological clock going off soon. Mine peaked about a decade ago and has been declining ever since.

Date: 2010-09-24 06:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ignusfaatus.livejournal.com
this comment is interesting to me, because i have heard people whining it before
that vitriol is a backlash against the social privileges afforded to parents

My interpretation of the comment is that a lot of gen Xers that did not have kids are confused about why they aren't successful or have a stunning career.

I have a rather harsh response.
Gee, maybe it is the fact that you went back packing through europe when other parents of your same peer group were working their ass off???
they think we have privilege? On the contrary, employrs are less likely to hire and promote a parent because things come up like puking at school or doctors appointments. parents get called away from work more often.

oh maybe they are referring to the tax credit of having a child?? that won't even cover the private lessons.

stop whining, people. When you were punking it out in rental houses parents were working their asses off because *they were scared*.

FEAR motivates parents and that not the same as privelege

Date: 2010-09-24 06:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vixenesque93.livejournal.com
I get what you're saying. Having kids forces you to grow up and be responsible whether you like it or not :)

I believe the 'social privileges' refer more to things like "when are you going to have a family of your own?" and other prevailing attitudes that suggest that no one can possibly be complete without reproducing.

I've also heard it suggested that one cannot POSSIBLY be mature until they've had kids. And yanno, those of us without kids who do work hard for what we have (even if we don't necessarily have stunning careers) may resent that just a tiny bit.

Date: 2010-09-24 06:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ignusfaatus.livejournal.com
See it's weird because when I had my first kid, everyone's response was
"Oh that's too bad"

seriously

Date: 2010-09-24 06:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ignusfaatus.livejournal.com
Most parents don't have kids at "convenient" times. There will always be something to disapprove of.... social scripting is for wankers

Date: 2010-09-24 07:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vixenesque93.livejournal.com
Yeah...people are gonna judge your family size/decisions no matter WHAT you do.

"What, you can't stop at 3 kids! That's a prime number!"
"Well, we were trying for pi."

Date: 2010-09-24 07:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ignusfaatus.livejournal.com
maybe pie is when you have a kid with a non functioning third leg?

awesome sauce

Date: 2010-09-24 07:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vixenesque93.livejournal.com
It's one of my favorite numbers.

Mostly because I also like pie. And pi makes me think of pie.

Date: 2010-09-24 06:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vixenesque93.livejournal.com
Ok those people suck.

Date: 2010-09-24 05:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] babalonyieh.livejournal.com
When I was doing some online dating I was asked if I didn't have any children because I was not able to. When I answered no, that actually I'm fertile as teh Napa Valley, I was met with some (but not alot) of oh, really. It seemed like a new concept. This is from a portion of society who tend to have a lot of kids.

But in the circles we run in it is perfectly normal for people to not have children. I also run into people with children who think I don't like kids, when I do, love them. They are a hoot. Like you said it is a hard job, so don't be shocked some of us CHOSE not to take on that job. Well put Sister.

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