ranty PSA

Aug. 5th, 2008 04:42 pm
vixenesque93: (starry night)
It's been one hell of a weekend. No, let's amend that. One hell of a week.

Dammit, sometimes I even get frustrated with myself. I'm finally getting my scattered-ness back together and am able to focus and articulate my thoughts. I've been feeling particularly upset at a lot of issues (and by extension, a few people).

The things that are upsetting/frustrating/etc:

-seeing that people don't change. Even jerks. And you know what? That's kind of sad. Because sooner or later the jerks will be all alone or stooping to pathetic levels. I've seen this happen several times, in radically different social circles. Hell, I've seen it in my own damn family (ex-stepfather's hilariously pathetic internet personal ad stands out as one example). But of course, no one wants to admit to themselves that they are the reason people don't like them. And why should they? It's easier to blame other people/astrology/the economy/waking up on the wrong side of the bed/lousy childhood than to own up to the fact that the large part of their problems are self-inflicted.

And sooner or later, people will get tired of their bullshit.

-seeing people complain about their situation one day then actively continue to make the situation worse the next, or refuse to do anything/take any advice that might actually improve their situation. If you're going to whine about the effects of action A publically, and then later state how you're still doing action A, there's a problem. Because you're still willfully harming yourself. Either you're acutely aware that you're hurting yourself and you don't care, or you're that blinded that you honestly have no clue. More likely a combination of both. I watched my mom complain for years about her second marriage (it was a pretty shitty situation) before she did anything about it.

An extension of this comes up on some LJ communities: poster with incredibly awful situation posts asking for help. Responders post with incredibly practical advice, OP makes excuses as to why they can't do that. Repeat over and over until no other practical solutions are left because they've all been shot down. Well, unless you've got a fairy godmother waiting around somewhere, you're a bit screwed now aren't ya? That candle you light for your job spell isn't going to do shit if there's no resume going out with it. Now-does this mean that magic doesn't work? Nah, I wouldn't say that. But I don't see it as something to be relied upon-it's a helping hand, but the gods aren't going to do the hard work for you. Same goes with any type of prayer. There's a saying that goes "God helps those who help themselves". Simplistic and yet true.

And now that I've written all this and gotten it off my chest, I may actually be able to get a decent night's sleep.
vixenesque93: (gaia consort lyrics)
Virgo Horoscope for week of June 19, 2008

Verticle Oracle card Virgo (August 23-September 22)
How well are you capitalizing on this year's unique opportunities, Virgo? Now that we're halfway through 2008, let's take an inventory. I'm hoping that six months from now, you'll look back and make the following declaration: "I've learned more about love in the past 12 months than maybe I ever have. I've also become far more skilled in the art of making myself happy. And I've finally figured out how to purge some of the martyr-like aspects from my generosity, which means I'm better able to give without strings attached and I'm more attractive to interesting people who are inclined to give me things I really want."

vixenesque93: (gothy fae)
Venus of Willendorf: sex symbol...or cruel caricature of an enemy's wife?

Why am I thinking about this? Eh...one of things I think about when I'm washing myself. It ranks right up there with whether or not there's an evolutionary reason for my boobs to be different sizes.

I keep hearing the phrase "real women have curves". I don't like that phrase, and not just because I wasn't overly wild about the movie. It's become a cliche, and frankly it's rather irritating. Sure, real women have curves. They also have angles, and lumps, and folds, and some of them have ribs and collarbones that stick out, and some have all sorts of muscle definition. All shapes and sizes and body types and dammit, that includes everyone from the skinny to the morbidly obese.

So why do we define womanhood by a particular body type? This seems more insulting than saying "true beauty is a perfect 36-24-36", because now you're not just unattractive without curves, you're not even a woman. What the fuck? It's like the fact that some plus-size clothing lines advertise as "clothes for real women". Thanks for the push towards my self-confidence, but I was just as much a woman in my thinner years as I am now.

I'm not "curvy" because I'm a woman, I'm "curvy" because of the way my body stores the fat that gets deposited when the calories I consume don't get burned off. Some women burn it off faster, some burn it off slower, some don't even try and are still skinny, some don't try and they're not skinny. Big fucking deal. I'm a woman because I say I am, not because I wear a size 16-and I look nothing like Marilyn Monroe. Not because I have boobs and an ass, because some women don't have those either. Hell, some women pay to have tits as big as mine. That said, apparently size doesn't mean a whole lot.

What is a real woman? Someone who defines themselves as a real woman. I'm a woman because I say I am. I was born with a double-X chromosome. For me, that'll suffice. Not everyone who identifies as a woman was born female. If it works for them, great.
vixenesque93: (awkward sex)
I just found out I have the option of including a personalized message on my checks.

I left it blank. Too much temptation there.
vixenesque93: (in the garden)
So, what is with the hesitation people have about attending public rituals/events?

I posted the question to [livejournal.com profile] oto_community and [livejournal.com profile] clerk_house, but I feel it applies to non-OTO stuff also.

Witches don't bite. Honest!
vixenesque93: (autumn change)
Not laugh-out-loud humorous funny, but amusing/interesting funny. I spent the better part of last year either pushing my own whiny ass to act or having it pushed for me.

It's like ripping off a band-aid: I can either whine and drag my feet about it and make excuses for leaving it on (while it gets all itchy and gooey and is frankly rather unattractive look at), or I can rip the damn thing off and be done with it. Hm... this is kind of a lousy analogy since I usually take band-aids off in the shower and it's almost painless. But my point-because I have one-is that if I have a problem, I have it in me to deal with it or move on past it instead of whining about it.

There's a reason that whining doesn't work. No one likes hearing it, and it just perpetuates the feeling of helplessness. I should know-I've done plenty, well past the age when we're supposed to have outgrown it. Sure, it has short-term therapeutic benefits, but so does scratching a bug bite. Doesn't mean it's a good idea in the long run.

Discussing a problem rationally ends up being more effective. Livejournal comes to mind...I've made up my mind to do less whining and more of the "well, this is what's going on and these are some solutions I'm thinking of trying" type of posts. It's more productive, and seeing as how other people will read it, I'm now holding myself more accountable for actually sticking to a goal.

Some of the crap is the direct result of choices I made as an adult, and some is due to circumstances that were beyond my control as a child. Most is the former. As for the latter-sure, my childhood sucked in some regards. Maybe more than a lot of folks I know. I'm not a child now and it's my job to cope with that shit. So my teenage years weren't all that happy. Meh. Neither were most people's, but dwelling on it well into one's twenties is a waste.

So there are people who suck. People don't stop being mean when we cease to be teenagers. Heck, I've been called slow, incompetant, that I shouldn't bother trying because I have no skills/talent/physical attractiveness/what have you. It can feel like a slap in the face, sure, especially if it comes from someone that I considered a friend. It's the whole low self-esteem/I am not worthy mentality, and it didn't do me any good. Same attitude that led me to stay in relationships where I really wasn't all that happy. Then I realized: why am I bothering? Why am I basing my fucking self-worth on what some pitiful shell of a person thinks of me?

I yelled a big "NO" and set my limits. Nobody really respects a doormat, after all.

That's where I am in my life as far as figuring out my Will. Taking the crayons that life granted me and still coloring a masterpiece on the kiddie menu so I can put it up on my refrigerator, look at it, and be able to say "I made something cool!"

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