Oh! I heard the most homophobic tripe on the radio this morning. I was scanning for music during the "commercial phase" on my regular stations and ended up on 99.9. Big mistake in the morning--their show is basically, "Let's hose your radio down with frat-boy-style testosterone poisoning."
Basically, they were soliciting advice for someone who called in. An early 20-something gal had a series of threesomes with her boyfriend. One was FMF, in which she ended up being intimate with the other woman for part of it. Later they had one that was MFM. During that one, her bf was intimate with the other man. She was flipping out about it and is now worried that any time he is spending time with his buddies he will be having sex with them. The DJs and all of the callers that I listened to were all telling her that she was right to be upset. Several people stated that a woman being intimate with another woman didn't mean anything but that a man being intimate with another man meant that he was gay. WTF?!?! I listened for far too long--hoping that someone with a grounding in reality would call in, but then I got so angry that I was nauseated.
Frankly, I do not understand why the issue should be any different for females than for males. Granted though that in this culture there seems to be more pressure on men to be either one-way or the other, while women are allowed many more "shades of grey" in defining their sexuality, but still this is ridiculous.
*gasp!* And here I was hoping that 20 years of bing in a phase would end and I would stop lusting after the soft, delectable, tasty curves of a woman's body.
I've been openly bisexual for 15 years. Over the years I have always been attracted to both men and women. Typically when I have a relationship it is with a man, but there have been a few with women. More often than not it is just a yearning and wishful thoughts that this woman or that was attracted to me and in a place in life that she could have me as her significant other.
I don't think it ever goes away. Being able to love both Women and Men is just a part of who I am. There are many things I find attractive in both genders, as well as things I find unattractive.
Sometimes I think that people may forget that I am bisexual. It's not something that I advertise, just as I wouldn't be running around telling people "Hey, look at me I am hetero", and I don't think it needs to be. (Though I did for quite a bit while I was first "Outed".)
In reality I will probably end up with a male life person just because of statistics(I have high standards, what are the chances of a woman I would want to spend my life with actually wanting to spend her life with me?) But that does not mean that I don't crush on women I meet or get to know, that I don't wake at night occasionally with an ache in my heart knowing that there is a woman out there that is supposed to fill it...
It doesn't mean I "Outgrew a phase" as my mother likes to think of it.. It just means that for some reason(statistics probably) I haven't been meeting women that are what I would want in a partner and I am what they would want in a partner as well. I think.. That probably accounts for alot of the bisexual women that appear to be hetero over time. It's a different culture really. Having lived in the gay community of seattle on more than one occassion.. I've I don't know how to put it nicely, but I have felt outcast by the gay and lesbian communities just as much as or probably more than the hetero ones.. For being "confused" . anyways, no matter. just live life to the fullest right?
Sometimes I do wonder though.. if maybe one or two of those women that made my heart flutter ever so, if maybe I might have made theirs flutter too.. and we crossed paths, to never discover what could have been simply because we were trained over time to not make an advancement to the other for fear of disgusted rejection...
and sometimes I lay in bed at night, dreaming of women I knew, or women I never knew and what it could have been.
I'm dating a bisexual woman, and she explained to me she simply doesn't see the 'differences' in genders the way others do. That makes a lot more sense to me than anything human behavior specialists might conjure up.
The notion that all bisexual men or women can never be satisfied with a single partner from one gender is particularly annoying and untrue.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2008-01-17 08:04 pm (UTC)Basically, they were soliciting advice for someone who called in. An early 20-something gal had a series of threesomes with her boyfriend. One was FMF, in which she ended up being intimate with the other woman for part of it. Later they had one that was MFM. During that one, her bf was intimate with the other man. She was flipping out about it and is now worried that any time he is spending time with his buddies he will be having sex with them. The DJs and all of the callers that I listened to were all telling her that she was right to be upset. Several people stated that a woman being intimate with another woman didn't mean anything but that a man being intimate with another man meant that he was gay. WTF?!?! I listened for far too long--hoping that someone with a grounding in reality would call in, but then I got so angry that I was nauseated.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-17 09:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-17 10:08 pm (UTC)Frankly, I do not understand why the issue should be any different for females than for males. Granted though that in this culture there seems to be more pressure on men to be either one-way or the other, while women are allowed many more "shades of grey" in defining their sexuality, but still this is ridiculous.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-17 08:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-17 08:25 pm (UTC)Sigh. Oh well. Back to the lusting.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-17 10:21 pm (UTC)Openly Bi for 15 years
Date: 2008-01-17 08:43 pm (UTC)I don't think it ever goes away. Being able to love both Women and Men is just a part of who I am. There are many things I find attractive in both genders, as well as things I find unattractive.
Sometimes I think that people may forget that I am bisexual. It's not something that I advertise, just as I wouldn't be running around telling people "Hey, look at me I am hetero", and I don't think it needs to be. (Though I did for quite a bit while I was first "Outed".)
In reality I will probably end up with a male life person just because of statistics(I have high standards, what are the chances of a woman I would want to spend my life with actually wanting to spend her life with me?) But that does not mean that I don't crush on women I meet or get to know, that I don't wake at night occasionally with an ache in my heart knowing that there is a woman out there that is supposed to fill it...
It doesn't mean I "Outgrew a phase" as my mother likes to think of it.. It just means that for some reason(statistics probably) I haven't been meeting women that are what I would want in a partner and I am what they would want in a partner as well. I think.. That probably accounts for alot of the bisexual women that appear to be hetero over time. It's a different culture really. Having lived in the gay community of seattle on more than one occassion.. I've I don't know how to put it nicely, but I have felt outcast by the gay and lesbian communities just as much as or probably more than the hetero ones.. For being "confused" . anyways, no matter. just live life to the fullest right?
Sometimes I do wonder though.. if maybe one or two of those women that made my heart flutter ever so, if maybe I might have made theirs flutter too.. and we crossed paths, to never discover what could have been simply because we were trained over time to not make an advancement to the other for fear of disgusted rejection...
and sometimes I lay in bed at night, dreaming of women I knew, or women I never knew and what it could have been.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-17 09:25 pm (UTC)haha.
no point here. i have no point.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-17 09:30 pm (UTC)like I said i have no point. im just comment happy
no subject
Date: 2008-01-18 02:01 am (UTC)The notion that all bisexual men or women can never be satisfied with a single partner from one gender is particularly annoying and untrue.